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What a crazy week; it's been quite emotional for a variety of reasons. There are a few things I think I understand, and a lot of things that I know I do not understand. Yet I do wish to do as Elder Holland directs and lead with my belief instead of my "unbelief."

I do know that we all have a Father in Heaven who loves us very much, who is keenly aware of every moment in our daily lives. I know each of us on earth chose to come, to experience mortality, and to learn to become who we can be. With that choice comes the experiences we may think we are ready for mentally, but come to see as the Savior did in Gethsemane that emotionally, spiritually, or in other ways we didn't quite understand what the fullness of the experience would truly feel like. I also know that because of our Savior, my Savior, all that is unfair in mortality can be made right in eternity. In this life, the Savior can also be a comfort, guide, and companion so we do not have to experience our trials alone as He did. I know that my Redeemer lives and I am beginning to better understand what a great mercy and blessing His life, Atonement, and Resurrection are to me.

"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited. In the growth we all have to experience in mortality, the spiritual equivalent of this boy’s affliction or this parent’s desperation [speaking of the story in Mark 9:14-24] is going to come to all of us. When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes." - Elder Jeffery R. Holland, "Lord, I Believe," April 2013 General Conference.