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What a crazy week; it's been quite emotional for a variety of reasons. There are a few things I think I understand, and a lot of things that I know I do not understand. Yet I do wish to do as Elder Holland directs and lead with my belief instead of my "unbelief."

I do know that we all have a Father in Heaven who loves us very much, who is keenly aware of every moment in our daily lives. I know each of us on earth chose to come, to experience mortality, and to learn to become who we can be. With that choice comes the experiences we may think we are ready for mentally, but come to see as the Savior did in Gethsemane that emotionally, spiritually, or in other ways we didn't quite understand what the fullness of the experience would truly feel like. I also know that because of our Savior, my Savior, all that is unfair in mortality can be made right in eternity. In this life, the Savior can also be a comfort, guide, and companion so we do not have to experience our trials alone as He did. I know that my Redeemer lives and I am beginning to better understand what a great mercy and blessing His life, Atonement, and Resurrection are to me.

"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited. In the growth we all have to experience in mortality, the spiritual equivalent of this boy’s affliction or this parent’s desperation [speaking of the story in Mark 9:14-24] is going to come to all of us. When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes." - Elder Jeffery R. Holland, "Lord, I Believe," April 2013 General Conference.

Trials, Tribulation, and Difficulties

In the April 2011 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Elder Paul V. Johnson explained our trials, tribulations, and difficulties in a new light, saying:

"At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem least able to cope. Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal—almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses. And no one is exempt, especially not Saints striving to do what’s right. Some obedient Saints may ask, 'Why me? I’m trying to be good! Why is the Lord allowing this to happen?' The furnace of affliction helps purify even the very best of Saints by burning away the dross in their lives and leaving behind pure gold. Even very rich ore needs refining to remove impurities. Being good is not enough. We want to become like the Savior, who learned as He suffered 'pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind.'^"

 It's not easy, but it is definitely worth it. The only way to the top is to climb it - there is no easy way out. Just hang in there!